The Lotus Flower

The Lotus Flower
It doesn't matter how your children get to you, just that they get there. However parenthood comes to you, it's a miracle."

Thursday, October 8, 2015

First trimester is almost over!

Met with Dr. P on Monday. Did the first trimester screening & the nuchal translucency scan after K + M voiced some concerns.  Dr. P recommended doing doing the scan. Was impressed that they were able to get us in for the scan at such short notice! Tech said everything looked good & will get the blood results of the screen back in about a week.  Baby was wiggling around & waving like always :] Definitely a relief hearing that everything looks good after that ultrasound! 
Heart beat was 155 & Dr. P predicted boy. 😁😁
Measuring ahead a few days at 12 weeks. I'm predicting a huge baby! 

Thursday, October 1, 2015


11 weeks today! 

The Z-Bean is the size of a Brussel Sprout! 

The bloating from the meds is pretty much all gone & we can actually see a little bump! 

Monday we meet with our OB, Dr. P & will hopefully get to see him/her again!
I have heard good things about this doctor, so here is to hoping we love him too!  

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Introducing the "Z-Bean"

It has been *gasp* almost 4 weeks since I updated & the reason being because I was getting nervous that we would go for the ultrasound & get bad news... 


On September 3rd, we went to see Dr. G at the other KC office for our "heartbeat confirmation". I was really nervous & couldn't sleep the night before. I got up super early because I was afraid of sleeping through my alarm & being late. 
I met K & M at the office & they gave me a bunch of Reese's... I had mentioned that I keep them in the freezer as a treat. Super sweet of them! 
I was worried that even though I had been doing everything & taking the medications like I was supposed to that the sac would be empty or there wouldn't be a heartbeat. Everyone has so much invested in this, both mentally, emotionally, & financially that thinking about the possibility of a loss & possibly having to start over was really heartbreaking. I am generally a positive person & rarely worry about things, but I was hoping & wishing that everything was going to be okay but I was also mentally preparing myself for the worst. I think that is the military mentality, "prepare for the worst & hope for the best". So as soon as Dr. G inserted the ultrasound wand, I could see the gestational sac. I've gotten pretty good at figuring out what I'm looking at on the screen. I had a rush of warmth go over me & felt like I was able to breathe after seeing the sac & baby on the screen.
It really was a huge relief when Dr. G found the heartbeat right away & when he said everything looked good. The heartbeat was 128bpm & normal. K & M were super excited & emotional, as they should be... We scheduled the next appointment for 2 weeks from then to double check & make sure baby is still thriving. 

At the 9 week, September 17th, appointment everything looked fantastic! I dubbed the baby the "Z-Bean"...K & M's last name starts with a Z, & I like thinking of the baby as an actually little person that belongs to them rather than just a growing fetus. & you can definitely see how much he/she has grown in 2 weeks! He/she was wiggling around & waving like they were saying "hi". It was super adorable! We "graduated" from the specialty Reproductive Center to a regular OB this appointment. Dr. G said we only had 1 more week of meds left, wahoooo!

K & M had to go to the funeral of his grandmother right after the appointment. I was really happy that we had such good news & was able to bring a little ray of sunshine into their day! 

M's mother also had given K a gift. A necklace that has a tiny set of footprints. Very pretty & very thoughtful gift- she can carry the baby with her everywhere she goes! 

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Baby Z hates sour cream ;]

Did my bloodwork again Saturday. 
Levels were at a 255 :] 
Which is great they more than doubled in a little less than 48 hours. 

We have an ultrasound first week of September! Keep fingers crossed Baby Z is growing nice & healthy!!! 

Also funny story- 

M really hates sour cream. Like loathes it & makes him cringe.. Lol 

I threw up my lunch yesterday after having a huge burrito with extra sour cream.  I love sour cream on everything haha & now I'm afraid to eat it lmao 

Baby Z clearly hates sour cream too!

Thursday, August 13, 2015

Now I can spill the beans!

So I have known since Saturday that we are pregnant! & it has been so hard to keep it a secret! 

I have been obsessively peeing on sticks all week hoping that they would keep getting darker & CLEARLY they were! 
The first couple were hard to capture on camera because they were super faint. The First Response Early Result (FRER) tests are the best because the detect HCG when the levels are 25 or higher. I was confident in the last test so I stopped testing & was just going to cross fingers & hope the levels were in the right range on the blood test. 

K + M didn't want to know until blood results came back that way it was more definitive & not a potential false positive .. 
So I went this morning & did the blood draw at 1030ish. Today we are 9 days post 5 day transfer.

Talk about the LONGEST WAIT EVER! 
I thought waiting 4 days waiting to potentially pee postitive on a stick was hard. Waiting for K or M to call with the results was brutal... I was twiddling my thumbs all day! 

At 3:20pm K gave me a call & I missed it! Go figure! Haha. She left a super sweet voicemail & I could hear how excited she was and how emotional she was when she said,  "you're pregnant, WE'RE pregnant!" I tested up hearing her say it.. Because it has been such a long, hard road for them. Actually saying it out loud is amazing & shocking & exciting at the same time. 
I gave  K a call & was super excited for them to finally know!!! We discussed the dreams we both had.. I had a dream with tons of blue & that they were having a baby boy & she had a dream about finding out about the pregnancy with both of our families there. 

Angel of Hope is doing her job & working on making these dream come true! 

I will continue to take meds as I have been doing & will have another blood test on Saturday. My levels were at 105 today, so we are hoping they will be close to doubling.. In the 200+ range. 

I am so, so very excited & grateful that the transfer worked on the first try. We are officially 4 WEEKS PREGNANT! 

Since we know the exact date of conception, this gives us a due date of April 21, 2016! 

1st ultrasound is in about 2 weeks!! 

Keep fingers & toes crossed & prayers that we have a healthy, full-term Baby Z & that everything progresses on schedule <3 

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Angel of Hope

K + M sent me a picture of their 'Angel of Hope' figurine... Snug in her spot! 

Added a quote & have it as my screensaver... 

I am so very anxious and so very ready to see the numbers after the blood draw!

We use the phrase, "hurry up & wait" in the military & I cannot explain how much this relates to surrogacy... It's a whole lot of waiting! 

Thankfully we don't have to wait a full 2 weeks for results. Because this has been the slowest week ever! Keeping busy with work & court cases. But, I took this month off school so I wouldn't have any extra or added stressors after the transfer. I have no idea what to do with all this extra time! 

I had my first pregnancy related dream & don't think I have ever wanted something to become a reality so much as I do right now! 

I truly believe that things will work out for the best! 

*Positive mind, positive vibes, positive life* 

Monday, August 10, 2015

The wait continues..... & a guide on HCG

*hopin' & waitin' & wishin'*

Waiting after transfer is probably one of the most difficult things... 

You can't tell the difference between potential pregnancy symptoms and side effects from all the medications you are on...

Today is 6 days post 5 day transfer &
So far I have had:
A killer headache
Mild nausea that comes & goes throughout the day
Tender breasts/sensitive nipples
Mild abdominal cramping
Little bit of diarrhea (promised I would be honest, ha!)
Mild Heartburn

& I've lost 4 pounds! Woot! 

I didn't have too many side effects from the medications prior to transfer other than a little weight gain & some major bloating.. So crossing fingers this is all related to an HCG (pregnancy hormone) surge!  

Keeping my hopes high, my mind positive & continuing to take all the medications...

Beta is on Thursday & we will find out the numbers 

The hormone human chorionic gonadotropin(better known as hCG) is produced during pregnancy. It is made by cells formed in the placenta, which nourishes the egg after it has been fertilized and becomes attached to the uterine wall.

Levels can first be detected by a blood test about 11 days after conception and about 12 – 14 days after conception by a urine test. Typically, the hCG levels will double every 72 hours. The level will reach its peak in the first 8 – 11 weeks of pregnancy and then will decline and level off for the remainder of the pregnancy.

HCG levels in weeks from LMP (gestational age):

  • 3 weeks LMP: 5 – 50 mIU/ml
  • 4 weeks LMP: 5 – 426 mIU/ml
  • 5 weeks LMP: 18 – 7,340 mIU/ml
  • 6 weeks LMP: 1,080 – 56,500 mIU/ml
  • 7 – 8 weeks LMP: 7, 650 – 229,000 mIU/ml
  • 9 – 12 weeks LMP: 25,700 – 288,000 mIU/ml
  • 13 – 16 weeks LMP: 13,300 – 254,000 mIU/ml
  • 17 – 24 weeks LMP: 4,060 – 165,400 mIU/ml
  • 25 – 40 weeks LMP: 3,640 – 117,000 mIU/ml
  • Non-pregnant females: <5.0 mIU/ml
  • Postmenopausal females: <9.5 mIU/ml

* These numbers are just a GUIDELINE— every woman’s level of hCG can rise differently. It is not necessarily the level that matters, but rather the  change in the level.