I had to submit a speech for my Public Speaking class and the prompt was "something that is important to you". Obviously, the surrogacy journey is one of the most important things in my life right now.
Did you know the first child born through gestational surrogacy was born in 1986?
My name is Jessica Linville. And I am embarking on a life-changing journey. One of the greatest gifts modern medicine has given us is surrogacy. I am currently in the process of becoming a surrogate mother for an amazing couple who is unable to have children on their own. I have quite a few friends who have become surrogates, and I am thankful to have their guidance through this journey over the next nine months. First, I will be discussing the process on how I became a surrogate. Second, I will discuss the different types of surrogacy. Third, I will explain the medical procedures leading into In-vitro Fertilization, and fourth, I will discuss why I became a surrogate and the emotional attachments of being a surrogate mother.
Process of becoming a surrogate:
First, you need to decide if you are going to go through an agency or pursue your journey independently. The reason I wanted to go independent was because I didn’t want my Intended Parent’s or IP’s to be spending additional money having an agency match us or set appointments for us when those were things we could do on our own.
Next step is to “match”. I found my IP’s on an online surrogacy forum. I created a profile on the site with some background on myself & my family along with some photos and read through the different profiles. I decided on a couple who lived a few hours from me and sent them an email on the site after reading their story. Their story really touched me. They had tried getting pregnant on their own and failed after discovering baseball sized fibroids in her uterus. They tried using a surrogate 2 years ago, however they miscarried a set of twin girls at 16 weeks. They were hopeful and optimistic and were ready to try again. My IP’s responded to my email & we emailed back & forth for a few weeks getting to know one another & we officially decided to move forward.
After matching, we made a doctor appointment with their reproductive endocrinologist. We did blood work and exams to make sure that I am a good candidate for surrogacy. After we got the all clear from the RE, we met with a psychologist to make sure both parties are mentally capable of successfully pursuing surrogacy and that my IP’s and I understood what we are getting into and the risks involved. Once the psych exams are complete, we met with both of our attorney’s to draw up a contract. This contract outlines the rights of both parties, financial obligations from start to finish, who has legal custody of the child after birth, how many embryos that are going to be transferred, and other important factors such as what type of contact the surrogate will have with the family after birth. After both parties sign the contract, we are ready to move forward and start medications. Now that I have discussed how I became a surrogate, I will discuss
The different types of surrogacy:
There are two types of surrogacy. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate mother is artificially inseminated with the biological father's sperm. The biological father can either be the father who intends to raise the child or an anonymous sperm donor. The surrogate mother, in this case, is the baby's biological mother.
In gestational surrogacy or in vitro fertilization, the eggs from the prospective mother and the sperm of the prospective father are fertilized outside of the body before being placed into the uterus of the surrogate mother. The surrogate mother is not genetically tied to the baby.
I am going to be a Gestational Surrogate and will have no genetic relation to the child that will be born. Now that I have explained the two types of surrogacy, I will discuss
The medical process leading up to In Vitro Fertilization:
Timing is everything with IVF. Appointments much be scheduled on specific days of my menstrual cycle to see what my body is doing on that particular day. My first appointment we did blood work and a saline sonogram. Saline is injected into the cavity of the uterus, enlarging it. The saline outlines the endometrium (the lining of the uterine cavity) and allows for easy visualization and measurement. It also identifies any polyps or masses within the uterus.
Then we did a mock transfer. It allows the doctor to determine the best “route” to the ideal embryo landing place in your uterus, to measure the length from cervix to that ideal place, and ensure that there are no unexpected road bumps along the way (like an undetected fibroid, scar tissue on the cervix, or other problem that may make transfer difficult).
Once it is determined that my uterus is a good candidate for surrogacy we can prepare it for pregnancy. Before an embryo can be transferred, the endometrial, or uterine cavity, must be prepared so that the embryo can implant properly. Different clinics have different med protocols, so experiences may vary. On day 3 of my menstrual cycle, I started taking a prenatal vitamin and baby aspirin. Baby aspirin helps with blood flow to the uterus. I also take 2mg of estrogen 3 times a day to help thicken the lining of my uterus. After 24 days on meds and about two weeks before transfer, I had a lining check to see if my endometrial lining was thick enough. It was 5.4mm, and it needs to be at 7mm for embryo transfer. The Dr. added 2mg of estrogen, vaginally to my daily meds. A week before transfer, I will inject 50mg Progesterone with a vial and needle into my hip and a vaginal progesterone suppository each night until transfer.
On transfer day, which is set for August 4th, we will only be transferring one embryo that has grown for 5 days. During the transfer, the doctor will insert the catheter loaded with the embryo and push the embryo into the uterus with a small puff of air. The procedure is guided visually on a monitor with an abdominal sonogram. Once transferred, the doctor will slowly remove the catheter, then check the catheter under a microscope to make sure the embryo was released. After, I will lie quietly for 20 minutes after the transfer and then go home. Then, we have “the two week wait” until it's time for the pregnancy test!
If the transfer is successful, I will continue doing the progesterone until week 10 of pregnancy and then will be released to a regular OBGYN. If the transfer is unsuccessful, we will adjust medications and try again! Now that the medical process of IVF was explained, I will talk about
Why I became a surrogate and the emotional aspects of becoming a surrogate:
The reason I became a surrogate is because I have seen the struggle first hand of many of my friends as they battle infertility. The constant let down each month when the pregnancy test said negative or the financial hardships they have encountered just to try to get pregnant, remain pregnant and to have a child. I knew that there are people out there who have been waiting for what feels like a lifetime to start or complete their family. I knew that I wouldn’t fully understand the struggles they have experienced, and nothing I could say can make the hurt go away. But I knew what I could do, was to be a vessel and a tool to help their dreams of parenthood come true. Everyone deserves the opportunity to be a parent & I would love nothing more than to help. Even if that makes me “The Walking Incubator”.
Naturally, a surrogate will form a bond and an emotional attachment. But the bond is more towards the parents and the fact that you are creating a family. We will be having regular sessions with our psychologist to help us mentally & emotionally through the whole process. You become very close to your IP’s and know the most intimate details about eachother’s lives. They are involved in every aspect of the pregnancy. I know from the very beginning that I am not doing this to have a child of my own. My family is complete. My job through this surrogacy is to help someone else create their family. This child could not have better parents or be more loved, and it isn’t even here yet. I am already dreaming of the day when I hand that miracle over & see the look in their eyes & the tears of joy. I know that the child created from this journey would otherwise not be created if it weren’t for me. And this journey will be one of my greatest accomplishments.
One of the greatest gifts modern medicine has given us, is surrogacy. Today, I have discussed the process of becoming a surrogate. Second, I explained the different types of surrogacy. Third, I explained the medical process leading up to IVF. And Finally, I discussed the reason I became a surrogate and the emotional aspect of surrogacy. So when you think of surrogacy, know that it doesn’t matter how children get to their parents, just that they do.
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